what a wicked web we weave when first we practice to...freewrite

today was a good day. a free day. do whatever i want, self-love day. nothing to do nowhere to be time to myself. smiles abounded today. ended up in the city getting free knicks tickets and eating a panini. new suits and giving an old friend free tickets to the rock center tree lighting. gratitude acceptance brotherhood bonding. some friendships live on forever and some die out that were meant to be. ever feel really great and then the thought of something makes you feel empty? and you try to fill it back up with all the good things you just did/realized like the new blog you wrote that you're proud of but the thoughts of the thing just won't go away and won't allow you to be whole? you're a liar. and i know it. and i just wish you would be honest, but you never will be because you aren't with yourself just like i said in the honesty box. it's okay though, i've learned to understand who you are but the effect on my heart is no less great. o well, c'est la vie no? gotta paint the apt. gotta wait for the tv's. gotta throw garbage out, empty the house. physical clutter only adds to emotional clutter and i need to be completely bare. minnesota party? sounds like it's not new york and that sounds pretty good. i wish people didn't have issues and that i didn't have to deal with them dealing with their issues. issues suck. i wonder how effective freewriting (freetyping?) is...don't care really, just been feeling the need to empty my head and got nowhere to put it all. and this is my blog right? so i can do that here i guess. that's about it for now i think, though i'd imagine in theory a true freewrite never ends would it? we shall see... peeeeeace