and this story, well it's...
it's a story of a girl...
i've said before i'm a sucker for a smile and a sad story, but even without that weakness i would've fallen for this one. unique, charming, intelligent, beautiful... i'd literally never seen anything like her before.
she's the prototype...
still haven't.
but as is always the case in things that seem perfect. they're not.
and it seems like you're racing the sun...
but of course, if we all stopped when sense and logic dictated we should, love and beauty would cease to propagate. and in regards to this girl..."beautiful is you and not the other way around." now i'm not sure if you've ever been lucky enough to see the corporal embodiment of an ethereal notion but believe, sense and logic go right out the window. and you kinda feel like...
nothing really matters...
and it's amazing how long you can really tell yourself that when you're caught up. when you're falling in love. when for the first time in a long time the days don't seem so rough and life is something to enjoy, not survive. when it really seems like there are only two people on this whole planet.
but reality has this funny way of always being real. not a whole lot of fun that is. because...
what i want should never hurt this bad...
and so it went. off and on. back and forth. from every day to almost never. but something kept it going. sometimes strong. other times weak. but always a pulse. she was my everything even when there was nothing. and vice versa, lest i sound obsessive or unrequited. our reality may not have been real, but our love always was and i take solace in that. and you know, it even got to the point, through all the bullshit that we were there and i knew that we would soon emerge from the darkness because she was
my light...
we had removed the thorn from every rose but the dawn of our night was short lived. "so we're official, right?"...happiest moment of my life lasted about two weeks. and then...more reality. and rightfully so, after all the stress and strife that surrounded us someone had to make the decision to call it quits. "its a shame"
so more than a full calendar year has passed and so much has happened. it hasn't been easy. i feel like i've been undergoing a painfully slow "soul-ectomy" losing a piece of myself every second. but that's not true. i just miss her. and she's in a happier place now, and though she misses me too the past has passed and the present is moving along whether we like it or not.
and me? i've come to grips with the situation. though i often relapse and make mistakes and get down in the dumps, i know that every day will continue to come and i must move forward with each one. but i always remember...
dedicated to you kiddo. i'm sorry.
(amazing i did this with no ingrid or damien, huh?)
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