compromise

the day after

got nothing to say today that music can't say for me.

damien rice - elephant
bob dylan - all i really wanna do
damien rice - cannonball
jason mraz - beautiful mess
kanye west - addiction
gym class heroes - live forever
kanye west - bittersweet
ingrid michaelson - masochist
bob dylan - sad eyed lady of the lowlands
yael naim - yashanti
damien rice - accidental babies
ingrid michaelson - glass
bob dylan - boots of spanish leather
bob dylan - simple twist of fate
ingrid michaelson - the chain
murs - part of me
ingrid michaelson - december baby
ingrid michaelson - starting now
damien rice - elephant

buy em. download em. steal em. sing em.
*will update throughout the day
** done and done

it's my blog so i'ma tell you a story

and this story, well it's...
it's a story of a girl...
i've said before i'm a sucker for a smile and a sad story, but even without that weakness i would've fallen for this one. unique, charming, intelligent, beautiful... i'd literally never seen anything like her before.
she's the prototype...
still haven't.
but as is always the case in things that seem perfect. they're not.
and it seems like you're racing the sun...
but of course, if we all stopped when sense and logic dictated we should, love and beauty would cease to propagate. and in regards to this girl..."beautiful is you and not the other way around." now i'm not sure if you've ever been lucky enough to see the corporal embodiment of an ethereal notion but believe, sense and logic go right out the window. and you kinda feel like...
nothing really matters...
and it's amazing how long you can really tell yourself that when you're caught up. when you're falling in love. when for the first time in a long time the days don't seem so rough and life is something to enjoy, not survive. when it really seems like there are only two people on this whole planet.
but reality has this funny way of always being real. not a whole lot of fun that is. because...
what i want should never hurt this bad...
and so it went. off and on. back and forth. from every day to almost never. but something kept it going. sometimes strong. other times weak. but always a pulse. she was my everything even when there was nothing. and vice versa, lest i sound obsessive or unrequited. our reality may not have been real, but our love always was and i take solace in that. and you know, it even got to the point, through all the bullshit that we were there and i knew that we would soon emerge from the darkness because she was
my light...
we had removed the thorn from every rose but the dawn of our night was short lived. "so we're official, right?"...happiest moment of my life lasted about two weeks. and then...more reality. and rightfully so, after all the stress and strife that surrounded us someone had to make the decision to call it quits. "its a shame"

so more than a full calendar year has passed and so much has happened. it hasn't been easy. i feel like i've been undergoing a painfully slow "soul-ectomy" losing a piece of myself every second. but that's not true. i just miss her. and she's in a happier place now, and though she misses me too the past has passed and the present is moving along whether we like it or not.
and me? i've come to grips with the situation. though i often relapse and make mistakes and get down in the dumps, i know that every day will continue to come and i must move forward with each one. but i always remember...


dedicated to you kiddo. i'm sorry.
(amazing i did this with no ingrid or damien, huh?)

a fantasy caught in film

jeff buckley

talented dude. untimely death. unrealized talent. music's good, perhaps a little dark, but pretty damn good. enjoy.

of all people...

so i've been meaning to write this entry for a almost two weeks now, but being a BuzyGuy i'm just getting to it now.

so perhaps you've heard, though i won't be surprised if you haven't, la lakers backup forward luke walton recently called police to report a stalker that had been brazenly following him for about a year. yea stalking is wack. and yea having someone sharpie your car, throw a basketball at it, stake out your house, and make "finger-gun" motions at you from your front lawn is not cool. this chick, Stacy Beshear, even went so far as to share that "the people in the universe" were preventing her from moving because they wanted her and cool hand luke to get married. she's straight certifiable.

but you know how i know homegirl is crazy? she stalked luke fuckin walton! in a state crawling with celebrities and luminary sports figures, this lunatic chose luke walton. shit, on the lakers alone there are 3 or 4 other guys i'd think about stalking before i'd get to his pasty ass. kobe, pau, fish, odom - maaaybe i'd consider going gay for those guys. but luke walton? really? c'mon, he's this guy's son -

maybe i'm not giving the old boy luke the benefit of the doubt. i guess some girls do find him attractive. and he is an nba star. wait, no.. he is an nba player. and i've heard some teeny boppers think he has dreamy blue eyes. so does spongebob. give me a break. i don't get it. i wouldn't stalk him. would you?

btw, google image stacy beshear. even she had no chance with luke walton.

heartbreak

gnarles barkley and director chris milk do a simply awesome job of visually and audibly manifesting something we've all felt.. amazing