on a visit to white castle yesterday, my boys and i, in a moment of hunger and gluttony, decided that the four of us could finish the 100 slider crave crate of destruction. i should've known better, especially when they handed me said crate and i needed two hands to carry it comfortably.
we took this monstrous crate back to the crib and settled in to watch the new iron man blue ray disc. now i love gorging myself on low quality sustenance as much as the next guy, but i had absolutely no idea what was in for. i happily shoveled burger after fucking burger into my greedy little face orifice with reckless abandoned. oh the joy! cheeseburgers, bacon cheeseburgers, a1 burgers! it was all the wonder i hoped it would be.
my elation was short-lived. less than half the way to my share of 25 greasy meat biscuits the white flag was raised. happiness and satisfaction were replaced with despair and pain. No one faired much better, as a little over 40 burgers remain in the cursed crate.
now i am left feeling dirty, shameful, and used. i share this story with you because i care about your well-being. don't make the mistake i did. beware the crave crate...
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